The other day, I had coffee with a dear friend of mine, Beth. Beth is a mother of 2, married and a straight shooter. Beth is in her late 40’s and does not look a day over 35. She is well dressed, hair color I approve of, straight white teeth (Beth, I am not Hannibal Lecter, just trying to paint a picture without using a photo) and uber-stylish. So, you can imagine my delight (*Schadenfreude) when she shared the following story.*–noun satisfaction or pleasure felt at someone else’s misfortune. Schaden-harm, Freud-joy
A year ago, Beth had the opportunity to receive free Botox treatments. And, without causing Beth grievous harm by identifying her place of work, Beth works with high level mucky mucks who determine significant changes to our lives. We are talking a serious place of work.
Enter stage left, Botox treatment. The treatment was comprehensive. She had injections a plenty!
It wasn’t till that fateful handheld mirror revealed a monstrous conclusion. (And, damnit to hell, I wish Beth would give me a picture. In fact, I called her 19 year old son for back up quotes to this post.)
The botulism botched her already beautiful face into something unrecognizable.
(Tangentially, as Beth tells me this story, I am guffawing because this broad is in charge and living large. And, I could only imagine how pissed she must have been.)
Not only were her eyes botoxed so that her expression appeared that of Droopy Dog, something far more sinister was left on her face. An evil eye. So, while her eyes were at half mast ( and potentially looking like a cast member of Intervention), a doctor neglected to relax the area above her right eye. The result:
Beth looked like a modern day Inspector Clouseau with a 18th century monocle sans the monocle. I imagined her locked in expression would be befitting for searching for the Hounds of Baskerville with Sherlocke Holmes. Instead, she had to perform her professional duties and pretend her right eye was not mysteriously perched near her hairline.
I bring this anecdote to the fore as a lead in to a trend of anti aging regimes that are well beyond the simple shots of Botox. Hell, if there is doctor reading this, I would love to sample box for my forehead becase I have what I refer to as a mail slot a gaping line that could register as a post office box.
However, later this afternoon, I would like to share a less humorous story of the millions of Americans who are going to doctors, drugging themselves up in pursuit of reversing the aging process.
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October 2nd, 2009 at 12:30 pm
LOL – You get what you pay for, and in this case when offered a “free” clinic for fellows of plastic surgery to learn how to do these injections, I thought – can’t hurt, might help – sign me up! But not only did the result bring huge comic relief to my family and co-workers – the injector never saw the results of his handy work (since the chief of plastic surgery had to fix the “evil eye” a day or two later)so the learning opportunity was really missed and who knows how many paying customers are walking around with that permanent look of cynicism on their face….I have decided going forward I will take a creased forehead and crowsfeet over droopy eyelids and alarmed expressions…..unless I feel the need to humor my family again.
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October 2nd, 2009 at 2:07 pm
Not having succumbed to the botox phenomena, I instead play around w/various creams, potions and other topical treatments, all of which offer miraculously smooth skin. After $100.’s of dollars, (God, I hope its hundreds and not thousands)I have unfortunately experienced no change whatsoever. Though my skin is moist due to the creams, my wrinkles and crinkles remain. At what age will I be before I give up and accept the inevitable? I can relate to Beth’s dilemma and am happy to hear she will no longer go under the needle or knife! However, I still cannot bring myself to accept the fact that I am aging and I know I will still dish out cash for that next promise of everlasting youth.
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americapeals Reply:
October 2nd, 2009 at 2:48 pm
Hi Nurse Jackie!
Glad you could drop by. The pharmacy closed?
I had mentioned this earlier to you however it bears repeating to all readers interested in anti-aging positions. “Consumer Reports” did its yearly assessment on the BEST Eye Wrinkle Cream. They cited Olay’s Total Effect Eye Transforming Cream for $20.00. The much more expensive creams were rated very low.
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americapeals Reply:
October 2nd, 2009 at 2:49 pm
Also, Nurse Jackie:
Why don’t you just loosen your pocketbook and allow America Peals to use some of the coffers for anti-aging serums.
The reality good skin is about diet, exercise, sunblock and fish oil.
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October 2nd, 2009 at 5:11 pm
I have done the Botox and have noticed that my eyebrows were 1″ lower on my face as a result – but I sure did not have any wrinkles!
I swear by lip fillers, as I have prune-lips. One flattering boyfriend who is French said I had a “cul de poule” (chickens ass) for lips. And that was when I was 21!
I use Obaji on my face, which keeps it smooth like a baby’s bum, but I cannot go in the sun at all – have to wear a baseball cap at all times and sunscreen every day (but I am worth it). And, I make sure to use the formula down my neck and upper chest because there is nothing worse than a flawless face attached to a body by a turtle’s neck.
I say, if it makes you feel better about yourself, go for it.
The key is a great dermatologist – I have tried several and no one comes near the caliber of Dr. Ruth Tedaldi in Wellesley. She is worth the wait; she is an artist.
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Nurse Jackie Reply:
October 2nd, 2009 at 7:00 pm
Hi Betsey, I know you and forgot about the great results you have had with prescription topicals! I just don’t know if I am ready for the “heat” and down time but you sure look great!!!
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October 4th, 2009 at 11:08 am
Ladies! Love the comments. I didnt know this a.m. when I looked at the site, an episode of the “The View” would be lurking in the comments section.
You are all beautiful to me. Especially, Nurse Jackie.
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April 1st, 2010 at 8:12 am
Just what I was searching for! I was researching articles for our blog when I came across your post (on
Botox is Botch and Botulism | America Peals ) which I found on AOL. We would love you to write for us, if interested. I’ve bookmarked this post for future reference. Nice comments here as well – Cheers from Ultimate Guide to Sports and Games
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